Reading the Books I
by HorcruxHunter101
Summary: Umbridge finds the Harry Potter books on her desk in Harry's 5th year so, to expose Harry for the liar she thinks he is, the books are read to the whole of Hogwarts. ON HOLD!
1. Prologue

**Reading Philosophers' Stone**

**Summary: Another one of those Harry Potter and co. read the books stories that everyone seems to have their own version of.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this.**

It was dinnertime at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking into the Great Hall, planning their next DA meeting. To their dismay, Umbridge had a wide smile plastered onto her face when they took their seats at the Gryffindor table.

When everyone had eaten their fill, the toad made that annoying coughing noise to get everyone's attention. Once the students had quieted down, she said in her ridiculously high-pitched voice, "Students, I have a special announcement. This afternoon while I was sitting in my office, these seven books appeared on my desk." The Ravenclaws perked up at the mention of books. "These books seem to be all about Mr. Potter's years at Hogwarts. To prove that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has not returned, with Professor Dumbledore's permission, these books will be read out to the school as of tomorrow. Good night."

The school was talking excitedly about this rare insight into Harry Potter's thoughts. They were, in fact, talking so loudly that it took several purple crackers from the end of Dumbledore's wand to quiet them down. "The reading will commence tomorrow, after breakfast. Classes will be canceled until we are finished reading."

With that, the children walked down to their dormitories, discussing the upcoming day in anticipation.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were the first to leave the Great Hall, also making them the first to enter Gryffindor Tower. When they got there, Hermione followed Harry and Ron into the boys' dorms so they could discuss things without the rest of the House listening in. "How did the toad get those books?" Hermione demanded to know, pacing around the boys dormitory. "Dunno," Ron replied, looking puzzled. "Do you think she stalks you Harry?" "I sure hope not!" Harry said, shuddering at the thought. "That would be creepy!" "Don't be ridiculous Ronald!" Hermione said exasperatedly. "If Umbridge were stalking Harry and knew as much as these books apparently do, wouldn't she know that Voldemort's back?" Harry opened his mouth to say something but just before he could, he heard the sound of Seamus, Dean and Neville climbing the staircase to the boys' dorms. "Well, how 'bout we just go to bed now then discuss this in the morning." Hermione then went to her own dorm while Harry and Ron climbed into their comfortable four-poster bed. That night, Harry had some very disturbing dreams about everyone discovering everything there was to know about him.

**A/N: So how was it? Good? Bad? Please let me know in a review. This is my first fic so I would really appreciate it. Next chapter they'll start reading the books! Yay!**


	2. Chapter 1

**This chapter's dedicated to my first reviewer, physicssquid. And don't worry; I don't plan on making Harry all weepy.**

**Reading Philosophers Stone**

**Summary: Another one of those Harry Potter and co. read the books stories that everyone seems to have their own version of.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this.**

When Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived in the Great Hall, they weren't surprised to find it full of talking students. When Harry walked in though, the conversation ceased and everybody stared at Harry as he made his way to the Gryffindor table. Umbridge stood as Harry buttered his piece of toast and said, "Hem, hem. We are now going to start reading the first book. The book is called Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone."

After all the talking had died down, Umbridge opened the book to the first chapter. "**HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE**,**" **Umbridge began, **"THE BOY WHO LIVED."**

**Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved ****in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

"Boring!" Fred and George called, causing the Gryffindors to laugh.

**Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**

"What are drills?" Malfoy asked

"It's a Muggle tool used to build things," Hermione replied.

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. **

Fred and George snickered at the accurate descriptions.

**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**

"What's wrong with the Potters?" Ron called out.

**Mrs Potter was Mrs Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years: in fact, Mrs Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.**

"Lily and James were great people and were lucky to be nothing like you!" Flitwick squeaked crossly.

"And unDursleyish isn't even a word!" a fifth year Ravenclaw yelled.

**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

"And I bet Lily and James didn't want Harry mixing with a child like that," McGonagall said crossly.

**When Mr and Mrs Dursley woke up on the dull, grey Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work**

"Who'd want to wear their most boring tie?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, why not wear the bright red one with pink polka dots?" George asked.

Fred was about to say something until Umbridge threatened to take points off of Gryffindor if they didn't shut up.

**and Mrs Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his highchair.**

"Brat," Harry and the Weasleys said in unison.

**None of them notices a large tawny owl flutter past the window. **

**At half-past eight, Mr Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

"Brat," Harry and the Weasleys repeated.

**Little tyke,' chortled Mr Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.**

"He encourages that sort of behavior!" Hermione said disbelievingly.

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar – a cat reading a map.**

"Five galleons it's McGonagall!" Draco called from his spot at the Slytherin table.  
"You're on!" Seamus called back, thinking that there was no way McGonagall would sit outside a Muggle's house.

**For a second, Mr Dursley didn't realise what he had seen – then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said **_**Privet Drive**_** — no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps **_**or**_** signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind.**

**As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day. But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

"What's funny about that?" asked a third year Hufflepuff.  
"Muggles don't usually wear cloaks," Snape said, surprising the students.

**Mr Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes — the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak!**

"Emerald!" Fred said.  
"The nerve of him!" George continued sounding equally disgusted.  
"He should be wearing Gryffindor red!" The twins said together, causing most of the students to laugh.

**The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt —these people were obviously collecting for something… yes, that would be it.**

"The things Muggles come up with to deny our existence," Dumbledore said fondly.

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

**Mr Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. He didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning.**

**He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood **

"Yes, because yelling at people is a fine way to please yourself," Hermione said angrily, glaring at the book.  
"Should we tell her she's talking to a book?" Ron asked Harry. "Nah, then she'd be mad at us," Harry whispered back.

**until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

"As if he needs it," Harry sneered, making people look at him in astonishment, as they had never heard Harry say anything like that before.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**'The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard —'**

**'**— **yes, their son, Harry —'**

**Mr Dursley stopped dead.**

"If only," Draco said. "Then we wouldn't have to hear about his stupid Muggle life."

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone,**

"His _what_?" asked a first year Slytherin.  
"A telephone is a device that Muggles use to talk to each other over long distances," Professor Burbage answered.

**and had almost finished dialling his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his moustache, thinking… no, he was being stupid. **

"As always," Harry muttered, once again surprising everyone who heard.

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name.**

"In the wizarding world it is," Draco said.

**He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

"HE DIDN'T KNOW YOUR NAME?" Hermione yelled.  
"To be honest, I'm not sure if he does now," Harry said, making Hermione even angrier. Fortunately, Umbridge continued reading causing Hermione to shut up.

**There was no point in worrying Mrs Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her — if he'd had a sister like that **… **but all the same, those people in cloaks…**

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

**'Sorry,' he grunted,**

"He knows that word?" Ginny said, sounding very surprised.

**as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell.**

**It was a few seconds before Mr Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passers-by stare,**

**'Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!'**

"Professor Flitwick, is that you?" Cho Chang asked.  
Flitwick nodded and most of the school laughed.

**And the old man hugged Mr Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

"Professor," Fred began.  
"How did our arms fit around his waist?" George finished.  
"Stretching charm," Flitwick answered.

**Mr Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

"WHAT?" Fred and George yelled.  
"How can one not approve of imagination?" George asked, stunned.  
"He deserves a cell in Azkaban for that one," Fred declared.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw—and it didn't improve his mood — was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.**

Draco smirked.

**'Shoo!' said Mr Dursley loudly.**

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

"You might as well pay up Finnigan," Draco called from across the room.  
Seamus walked across the room and, with great sorrow, handed Draco the 5 galleons.

**Was this normal cat behaviour?**

"No," Draco said, "but it is normal McGonagall behaviour."

**Mr Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!").**

"How proud she must be," Snape said dryly.

**Mr Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

**'And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern.' The newscaster allowed himself a grin. 'Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?'**

All the muggle-borns groaned. They hated the bad jokes they told on the news.

**'Well, Ted,' said the weatherman, 'I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early — it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight.'**

**Mr Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters…**

**Mrs Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously.**

**'Er — Petunia, dear — you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?'**

**As he had expected, Mrs Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

**'No,' she said sharply. 'Why?'**

**'Funny stuff on the news,' Mr Dursley mumbled. "Owls… shooting stars… and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…'**

**'So?' snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**'Well, I just thought… maybe… it was something to do with… you know… her crowd.'**

"Her crowd!" said a seventh year Slytherin angrily. "She should be proud to have a witch in the family!"

**rs Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, 'Their son — he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?'**

**'I suppose so,' said Mrs Dursley stiffly.**

**'What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?'**

**'Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.'**

"It's better than Dudley!" Ginny said.

'**Oh, yes,' said Mr Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. 'Yes, I quite agree.'**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did… if it got out that they were related to a pair of — well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

"Imagine how I feel being related to you," Harry said glaring at the book.

**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind… He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on — he yawned and turned over — it couldn't affect them…**

**How very wrong he was.**

**Mr Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

"GO DUMBLEDORE!" The Gryffindor table yelled.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realise that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome.**

"I knew," Dumbledore said. "I just couldn't care less.

**He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realise he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him.**

**He chuckled and muttered, 'I should have known.'**

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop.**

"Wicked!" The twins said together.  
"Where'd you get it from Professor?" George asked.

"I made it," Dumbledore said simply.

**He clicked it again — the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**'Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.'**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**'How did you know it was me?' she asked.**

**'My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly.'**

**'You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day,' said Professor McGonagall.**

"And whose fault was that?" Snape asked, earning a glare from McGonagall. "Sorry if I didn't see the deaths of Lily and James as a cause for celebration," she retorted.

**'All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here.'**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**'Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right,' she said impatiently. 'You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no — even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news.' She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. 'I heard it. Flocks of owls… shooting stars… Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent — I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense.'**

"You can't blame them," Flitwick squeaked.

**'You can't blame them,' said Dumbledore gently. 'We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.'**

**'I know that,' said Professor McGonagall irritably. 'But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.'**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on.**

**'A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?'**

"Of course he has!" Umbridge said then continued reading before Harry could contradict her.

**'It certainly seems so,' said Dumbledore. 'We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?'**

"A _what_?" all the purebloods asked.

**'A what?'**

**'A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of.'**

"They're yum!" Colin Creevy said.

**'No, thank you,' said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. 'As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone —'**

**'My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this "You-Know-Who" nonsense — for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort.'**

Everyone in the school, excluding Harry and Dumbledore, flinched.

**Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice.**

**'It all gets so confusing if we keep saying "You-Know-Who". I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name.'**

"Only because you're the only one he's afraid of," Sprout said.

**'I know you haven't,' said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. 'But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort,**

Flinch.

**was frightened of.'**

**'You flatter me,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'Voldemort had powers I will never have.'**

"Only because you're too noble to use them," Hermione said.

**'Only because you're too — well — noble to use them.'**

Hermione blushed at saying the same thing as McGonagall.

**'It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.'**

"They were nice earmuffs!" Madam Pomfrey defended herself

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said 'The owls are nothing next to the rumours that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?;**

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true.**

**Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

**'What they're saying,' she pressed on, 'is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are — are — that they're — dead.'**

The staff bowed their heads in grief even, to Harry's surprise, Snape.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**'Lily and James… I can't believe it… I didn't want to believe it… Oh, Albus…'**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder.**

**'I know… I know…' he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on.**

**'That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke — and that's why he's gone.'**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**'It's — it's true?' faltered Professor McGonagall. 'After all he's done… all the people he's killed… he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding… of all the things to stop him… but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?'**

"I think that's something we'd all like to know Potter," Draco said.

"It's something I'd like to know," Harry said.

**'We can only guess.' said Dumbledore. 'We may never know.'**

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles.**

**Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, 'Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?'**

**'Yes,' said Professor McGonagall. 'And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?'**

**'I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now.'**

**'You don't mean – you can't mean the people who live here?' cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. 'Dumbledore — you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son — I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. **

"Brat," everyone, including the teachers said.

**Harry Potter come and live here!'**

"I agree with Professor McGonagall!" Harry said.

**'It's the best place for him,' said Dumbledore firmly. 'His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter.'**

"A letter!" Hermione yelled. "You think you can explain all this in a letter?"

**'A letter?' repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. 'Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?**

Hermione blushed at saying the same thing as McGonagall again.

**These people will never understand him! He'll be famous — a legend — I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future — there will be books written about Harry — every child in our world will know his name!'**

Harry groaned at the mention of his fame, this caused anyone who didn't know him that well to look at him oddly.

**'Exactly.' said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. 'It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?'**

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, 'Yes — yes, you're right, of course.**

**But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?' She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

"He'd better not be," Ginny growled, making people edge away from her.

**'Hagrid's bringing him.'**

**'You think it — wise — to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?'**

"I would trust Hagrid with my life!" Harry said which made Hagrid grin.

**'I would trust Hagrid with my life,' said Dumbledore.**

"So Hermione thinks like McGonagall and Harry like Dumbledore," Ron said thoughtfully, earning him a whack on the head from Hermione. "There are worst people to think like," she said.

**'I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place,' said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, 'but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to **

"Sorry Hagrid," said McGonagall.

— **what was that?'**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky — and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

Harry beamed at the mention of the motorcycle.

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild — long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

**'Hagrid,' said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. 'At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?'**

**'Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,' said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. 'Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir.'**

**'No problems, were there?'**

**'No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol.'**

"Aww," said most of the girls.

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

"Aww," the girls cooed again.

"You were a cute baby," McGonagall said, causing Harry to go even redder.

**'Is that where —?' whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**'Yes,' said Dumbledore. 'He'll have that scar forever.'**

**'Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?'**

**'Even if I could, I wouldn't.**

**Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.**

"Ugh! Ever heard the term 'too much information'?" Draco asked.

**Well — give him here, Hagrid — we'd better get this over with.'**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**'Could I — could I say good-bye to him, sir?' asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

**'Shhh!' hissed Professor McGonagall, 'You'll wake the Muggles!'**

**'S-s-sorry,' sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. 'But I c-c-can't stand it —Lily an' James dead — an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles —'**

**'Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found,' Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door.**

**He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two.**

"You left on the doorstep?" Hermione shrieked. "Some stranger could have just taken him!"

"I probably would've been better off," murmured Harry, making Hermione to wonder just how bad his home life was.

**For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

**'Well,' said Dumbledore finally, 'that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.'**

**'Yeah,' said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, 'I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall — Professor Dumbledore, sir.'**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**'I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall,' said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**'Good luck, Harry,' he murmured.**

"He'll need it!" Ernie said from the Hufflepuff table.

**He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley…**

Everyone glared at the book.

**He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter — the boy who lived!'**

"That's the end of the first chapter," Umbridge said. "Who would like to read the next chapter?"

"I will!" Cho Chang said, stepping up to take the book from Umbridge's grasp.

**A/N: Chapter 2 is posted! Hope you liked it. Please tell me what you thought in a review. **

**To answer eternal stars 5's 2 questions, I do plan to do all the books and I shall not take over 2 weeks to update.**

**I thank you for complimenting my spelling and grammar and I agree with you. It's quite annoying when writers don't edit their work . **


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm dreadfully sorry I haven't updated in ages. School started up again, it was my birthday, then my computer crashed while I was writing this so I lost everything. I'll try to update quickly but may not be able to. **

**Disclaimer- Don't own HP**

"**The Vanishing Glass,**" Cho read.

"I wonder what that means," Dean wondered aloud.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.**

"I'm assuming that these Muggles aren't overly fond of change," Stewart Ackerly, a 2nd year Ravenclaw guessed.

**Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-coloured bonnets **

Fed and George, as well as a majority of other students snickered at the comparison.

— **but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.**

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"**Up! Get up! Now!"**

"Not the nicest way of getting woken up," Hannah observed.

"Trust me, it's not," Harry said.

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

"**Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

"That's because it actually happened," Luna said dreamily before going back to reading the Quibbler.

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly," said Harry.**

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

**Harry groaned.**

"Why don't you like your cousin's birthday," Katie Bell asked. She'd always loved family and birthdays so was curious as to why Harry seemingly disliked his cousin's birthday.

"Let's just say I don't like any day where my aunt and uncle have an excuse to spoil him even more than usual." Harry replied.

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

"He didn't _say _anything!" Fred said. "He merely groaned."

"**Nothing, nothing…"**

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten? Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider**

Ron and several girls from the Hufflepuff table shuddered.

**off one of them, put them on. Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.**

"WHAT?" Everyone in the Great Hall screamed. Even Snape and the Slytherins had looks of shock and astonishment on their faces.

'_This doesn't prove anything!' _Snape thought. _'He's still a brat. Just like his father.'_

"Those gits!" Ron yelled.

"Why did you never tell us?" Hermione asked Harry who had been sliding down under the table in a half-hearted attempt to avoid all the stares.

"I guess it never came up," Harry said while glancing at Cho, who got the hint and continued reading.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.**

"What are all those things?" a First Year asked curiously.

"A computer is a device Muggle use to play certain games on, a television is a box with moving pictures that tell stories and a racing bike is a 2-wheeled vehicle that Muggles ride around on," Snape said impatiently. Everybody stared at him until he suddenly snapped, "Miss Chang, are you going to continue reading sometime before the summer holidays?"

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise — unless of course it involved punching somebody.**

"That good for nothing, fat, bullying, git," Ginny could be heard muttering.

**Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast**.

"Good thing that," Ron said.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.**

"He is rather scrawny, right Fred," George said.

"Very," Fred agreed.

"Oi," Harry exclaimed, swatting them both over the head with a copy of the Quibbler Luna had given him. At least the thing had some use.

**He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobby knees, black hair,**

"Just like James," Flitwick said reminiscently.

**and bright green eyes.**

"Lily," McGonagall said quietly.

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

"You liked the scar?" Hermione asked.

"Well, back then, before I knew how I got it seemed kinda cool," Harry said. "I mean, a lightening bolt scar!"

Hermione shook her head.

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.**

"Lily and James didn't die in a car crash!" Professor Sinistra said. She and Lily had been good friends in school and James wasn't too bad, other than the fact that he'd bullied Severus a lot.

"**And don't ask questions."**

"But if you don't ask questions, how are you supposed to learn?" A boy from Ravenclaw asked.

"I don't think they really care whether or not I learn anything," Harry said, causing the Ravenclaws to gasp and one to even faint.  
Once the girl had been dragged off to the Hospital Wing, Cho read continued.

**Don't ask questions — that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.**

"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

"That won't work," Ron laughed, thinking back to all the times his mum had tried to get it to lie flat.

"Yeah, the Potter hair is impossible to tame," Harry said, grinning.

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place.**

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.**

"Pig."

**Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

The inhabitants of Hogwarts were rolling on the floor laughing.  
"I love your comparisons, Harry!" Fred gasped while George was nodding in agreement.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."**

"Merlin, that's more than I get Christmas and birthday combined!," Draco said, causing everyone to look at him in shock.  
"It's true!" He said.

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

"Has he ever done that before?" Seamus asked.

"Yeah, when I was 8," Harry said, remembering the incident that had earned him 2 weeks in his cupboard, even though he hadn't done anything.

"Bloody hell!" Dean said. "What a brat!"

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? **

"Popkin?" Cormac McLaggan asked.

**Two more presents. Is that all right?"**

"I'm no expert on mothering," Penelope Clearwater started, "but I'm sure that's not what you're supposed to do."

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty… thirty…"**

"Merlin, the boy can't even count!" Professor Vector exclaimed.

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums,"**

"Sweetums?"

**said Aunt Petunia.**

"**Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

"That's not something to be proud of," Hermione huffed.

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.**

"Just write down any Muggle devices you wish to know the function of and I'm sure Professor Burbage will be happy to explain it during the lunch break," Snape said as he saw a Third Year Hufflepuff open his mouth.

**He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him."**

"He's right there!" Ginny screeched.

**She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

"That's boring," said Colin Creevey, who was extremely glad that his babysitter wasn't like that.

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

"That not very nice Harry," Hermione reprimanded him.

"Sorry," he said smiling.

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"**Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

"Do they even know your name?" Cho asked.

"Honestly, I've no idea," Harry said.

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

Harry heard a strange growling sound coming from his left.

"**What about what's-her-name, your friend — Yvonne?"**

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

"Unlikely," someone snorted.

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

Doesn't she always look like that?" Fred asked.

"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

"What do they think your going to do, blow it up?" Draco snorted.

Everyone stared at him, shocked that he'd be defending Harry.

"He's too much of a goody two shoes Gryffindor," Draco defended himself.

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "… and leave him in the car…"**

"What is he, a dog?" Lavender Brown said indignantly.

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

"Yeah, 'cos a car is _way___more important than your nephew," McGonagall said.

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying — it had been years since he'd really cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

"Brat," was echoed around the Hall.

"**Dinky Duddydums,**

Everyone laughed, "Were does she come up with these names?"

**don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

"How gullible can you get?" Theodore Nott sneered.

"**I… don't… want… him… t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

"Git."

**Just then, the doorbell rang — "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother.**

**Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

"Of course he did," Harry said. "Couldn't look weak in front of his cronies."

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, anything at all — and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"You'd better not do anything to him," Hermione and the Weasleys growled.

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

"I wonder why," a Gryffindor a year below Harry called.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.**

**Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.**

"Nothing can beat the Potter Hair!" Fred and George called while grabbing Harry's arms and waving them in the air.

**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

"They punished you for that," Mcgonagall said. "But it was accidental magic. Your aunt would know."

"Exactly," Harry said bitterly.

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls).**

"That sounds ghastly! It must be a crime to make anyone wear that!" said a shuddering Lavender Brown.

**The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry.**

**Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

"That's good," Ron said.

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney.**

"You Apparated," McGonagall said astonished.

"That's very powerful accidental magic Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling like mad.

**The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trashcans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

"Not a very clever excuse there, Harry," Fred teased.

"I mean, seriously. The wind in mid-jump?" George said.

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong.**

"YOU JINXED IT!" Fred and George yelled.

**It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles.**

"He seems to really like you, Harry," Ernie said.

Harry snorted in reply.

"…**roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

"Not a smart move Harry," Michael Corner said.

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon — they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"Dangerous ideas," Ginny scoffed. "How stupid can he get?"

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.**

"It wasn't bad!" Harry hurriedly said to ease the glares of those around him.

**It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

"Nice one, Harry," Neville laughed.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.**

**They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

"Dun, Dun, Dun…"

"Shut up Fred."

"OK"

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can — but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

"You compare yourself to a snake?" Draco said. "That's kinda sad."

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

"Weird," Neville said.

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

"**I get that all the time."**

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

"**Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see — so you've never been to Brazil?"**

"Well, this snake seems rather nice," Luna said.

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor.**

There were cries of "HEY!" and "leave him alone fatty!" and many glares aimed at the book.

**What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

"Wow, what did you do?" Fred said excitedly looking at his brother's best mate, who just smirked at him.

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished.**

"Impressive," Sprout said.

**The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come… Thanksss, amigo."**

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**.

"No, why did you have to say that, you twit," Ron said.

"Talking to the book again, are you?" Harry said bemusedly. Ron just stuck out his tongue at his friend.

"Real mature, Ron."

"Shut up!"

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

"Yes, because alcohol is the answer to everything," Sinistra said.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

"You shouldn't have to sneak to get food in your own house," Susan Bones said.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead.**

**This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all.**

Everyone who'd known Lily and James looked down sadly. They were really great people.

**His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened;**

**the Dursleys were his only family. Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too.**

**A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

"I disagree with them!" Everyone called out, making Harry smile slightly.

"Well, that's it for chapter two," Cho said.

"I'll read next," Ginny volunteered.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.**

Dumbledore stood and announced that they'd be having a lunch break after this chapter, to Ron's great excitement. Dumbledore then gestured at Ginny to start reading.

"**Letters From No One," **she read.

"Don't be silly, Harry. Letters can't come from no one!" Ron said.

"Shut up, Ron," Harry said.

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment.**

**By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again**

Harry's friends growled at the mention of the cupboard.

**, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs Figgs she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.**

"When is Dudley's birthday?" asked Sprout.

"The twenty third of June," Harry muttered.

There were gasps around the Hall, as well as many people planning the Dursley's painful death.

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.**

"So that's why Harry's the leader of the trio!" Fred exclaimed.

"I would've thought it would be because he defeated You-Know-Who but I stand corrected," George stated, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

**The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favourite sport: Harry Hunting.**

"I suppose Harry Hunting isn't just Hide and Seek," Hermione said.

"Nope!" Fred said. "It's quite a delightful sport actually."

"What happens is you chase Harry around the place and when you catch him, you tickle him," George continued.

"Until he wets himself," Fred added.

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley.**

**Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school.**

"You're going to Hogwarts, Harry," Ron said.

"I didn't know that then," said Harry.

**Dudley thought this was very funny.**

"**They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,"** **he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

"**No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."**

The Hall erupted with laughter.

**Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.**

"Muggles too dumb to figure that out," Goyle said, causing everyone to laugh at the words coming out of Hogwarts' Thickest Resident's mouth.

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs Figg's.**

**Mrs Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.**

All the chocolate lovers in the room grimaced.

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.**

"Lovely," Draco sneered.

**They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.**

"I don't see how that's good training," said Cho Chang.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life.**

"His life mustn't be that exciting then," Lee Jordan said

**Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins**

Fred and George laughed at the nickname.

**, he looked so handsome and grown-up.**

"Handsome?" several people said in shock.

**Harry didn't trust himself to speak.** **He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.**

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.**

"**What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.**

"**Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

"**Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

"Harry! Where's your sarcasm now?" George asked.

"**Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dying some of Dudley's old things grey for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."**

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue.**

"Well, that's a first!" said Umbridge.

**He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High — like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.**

"I'd pay to see that!" a Gryffindor that Harry hadn't met said.

"I'd pay to see Malfoy in that," Ginny laughed, much to 3 quarters of the school's amusement.

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.**

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.**

"**Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

Everyone blinked in surprise.

"He's actually making that brat do something?" asked Ron.

"Nope." Harry replied.

"**Make Harry get it."**

"**Get the mail, Harry."**

"**Make Dudley get it."**

"**Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."**

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill and— **_**a letter for Harry**_**.**

"It's your Hogwarts letter!" Neville said.

**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives — he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

_**Mr H. Potter**_

_**The Cupboard under the Stairs 4 Privet Drive**_

_**Little Whinging**_

_**Surrey**_

"Doesn't someone check the addresses before they're sent off?" asked Hermione.

"The Headmaster usually sifts through the letters," McGonagall said. "Perhaps we should issue a more thorough check."

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.**

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter **_**H**_**.**

"Hogwarts!" Cheered the students.

"**Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.**

"That was a joke?" George asked, shocked.

"Even Percy can make better than that!" Fred joked.

**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter.**

"Why didn't you open it in the hall?" asked Ernie Macmillian.

**He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.**

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

"**Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…"**

"**Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"**

"Shut up you twit!" Ginny snarled.

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter,** **which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

"**That's **_**mine**_**!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.**

**Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the greyish white of old porridge.**

"Yuck!" said Ron.

"**P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

"**Vernon! Oh my goodness — Vernon!"**

"Petunia always was a drama queen," Snape sneered before realizing he'd said that out loud.

"You know my Aunt, Professor?" Harry asked.

"Unfortunately," Snape replied.

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

"**I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

"_**I **_**want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's **_**mine**_**."**

"**Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move.**

Ron leaned forwards in anticipation of Harry's outburst.

"**I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

"You have quite the temper Harry!" Lavender laughed.

"**Let **_**me **_**see it!" demanded Dudley.**

"**OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole;**

Harry could see the twins betting on who would win.

**Dudley won,**

"Damn!" said Fred as he handed a grinning George one sickle.

**so Harry,** **his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.**

"**Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address — how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

"**Watching — spying — might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

"We have better things to do," Flitwick said, the rest of the staff nodding furiously.

"**But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want —"**

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

"**No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer… Yes, that's best… we won't do anything…"**

"**But —"**

"**I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"**

"You can't stamp magic out!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Did he try?" Ron asked Harry.

"Er- no…" said Harry slowly

"Harry!" Ron and Hermione said together.

"Let's get back to reading," Harry said, ignoring the inquisitive and looks.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.**

"The fat lump actually managed to fit?" Draco sneered.

"His head made it in, but that's about it," said Harry

"**Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

"**No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. **"**I have burned it."**

**It was **_**not **_**a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

"**SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling.**

Ron, along with half the female population shuddered.

**He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful." Er- yes Harry- about his cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking… you're really getting a bit big for it… we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom."**

"Second bedroom?" McGonagall repeated, looking as if she were about to breathe fire. "They put you in a cupboard while that brat had two whole rooms to himself?"

"**Why?" said Harry.**

"Merlin, Harry!" Fred exclaimed.

"Haven't we taught you anything?" George asked.

"Never question a good thing," they finished together.

**Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."**

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors** **(usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom.**

**It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room.**

**He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbour's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favourite program had been cancelled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.**

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't **_**want **_**him in there… I **_**need **_**that room… make him get out…"**

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.**

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.**

"If I had ever behaved like that, my father would have gotten the belt out," muttered Draco.

**Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.**

**They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —'"**

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind.**

"What good would that have done?" asked Ernie McMillan.

"Practice for a later chapter?" suggested Harry, causing Hermione and Ron to burst out laughing

Everyone was looking at them weirdly so Ron just gasped, "you'll see later!"

**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick,**

**Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.**

"**Go to your cupboard — I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley — go — just go."**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.**

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.**

"Pretty good for a ten year old." Said Lee Jordan.

"Probably Harry's best plan," Fred said.

"My plans work!" Harry exclaimed.

The twins and Lee just grinned at him.

**His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door —**

"**AAAAARRRGH!"**

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat — something **_**alive**_**!**

"Please let it be the walrus, please!" begged the twins and Lee.

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.**

"YEAH!" Lee and the twins cheered.

**Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.**

"**I want —" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

"Bastard," Sinistra muttered in a voice so quiet only the staff could hear.

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

"**See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't **_**deliver **_**them they'll just give up."**

"Like that would work," Theodore Nott said, shaking his head.

"**I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

"**Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon,**

"Thank Merlin for that!" Draco exclaimed.

**trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.**

Several people snickered at his stupidity.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.**

"Hogwarts can be very persistent," Sprout said.

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out.**

**He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.**

"Paranoid much?" Fred and George laughed.

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two-dozen eggs**

"How did you put them there?" Cho Chang asked curiously.

"Minnie put them there!" Fred and George chorused.

"Weasleys!"

"Sorry Professor!" they yelled back.

**that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window.**

**While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

"**Who on earth wants to talk to **_**you **_**this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

"Um, let's think," Ron began.

"The whole wizarding world!" Hermione finished.

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.** "**No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —"**

"What?" a Slytherin student asked.

"Muggles don't have post on Sunday. They consider it to be a day of rest," Hermione explained.

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one.**

"Why didn't you just pick one up off the floor?" asked Katie Bell.

"I was practicing my Seeker skills," Harry said.

"You didn't even know what Quidditch was back then mate," Ron pointed out.

"**Out! OUT!" Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.**

"**That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his moustache at the same time. "I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

**He looked so dangerous with half his moustache missing that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head**

"About time!" Ginny said.

**for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.**

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while.**

"He's gone mad, that one" Dean said, shaking his head.

"**Shake 'em off… shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.**

"Welcome to Harry's life you brat," Hermione muttered.

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering…**

"Wondering about what?" asked Ginny.

"Don't remember," Harry replied

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

"'**S'cuse me, but is one of you Mr H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

_**Mr H. Potter**_

_**Room 17**_

_**Railview Hotel**_

_**Cokeworth**_

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way.** **The woman stared.**

"That would have been an odd sight," Seamus observed.

"**I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

"**Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her.**

**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a ploughed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

"**Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon.**

**Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared. It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley snivelled.**

"**It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a **_**television**_**."**

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it **_**was **_**Monday — and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television — then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.**

"Happy Birthday to you!" sang all of Harry's friends

"Thanks guys, but my birthday was months ago!" laughed Harry

**Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.**

Everyone was growling at the unfair treatment of the Boy-who-Lived.

**Still, you weren't eleven every day.**

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling.**

"Crap," several students muttered, earning a sharp glare from McGonagall.

**He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

"**Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

**Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"**

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-grey water below them.**

**I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.**

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.**

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas.**

"That's hardly anything!" exclaimed Ron.

**He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shrivelled up.**

"**Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

"Bastard," Ginny murmered.

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few mouldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.**

"They could get you sick!" Madame Pomfrey shrieked. Harry made a mental note to stay away from her during the lunch break.

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.**

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.**

"No, you'd probably get severely injured," Pomfrey corrected.

**Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds… twenty… ten… nine — maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him**

"Do it, do it, do it!" chanted the twins and Lee

— **three… two… one…**

**BOOM.**

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"That's it," Ginny said. "Who wants to read next?"

"Me! Me! Pick me!" George yelled, waving his hand in the air.

"After lunch," Ron said quickly, his stomach rumbling loudly.

**A/N: I've updated! Yay! **

**You know what? I bet I'll update quicker if you press that blue button and review. Please?**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If I owned HP, would I really be writing fanfiction? Actually, I probably would since I'm weird but that's beside the point.  
Thank you to all you wonderful reviewers. I told you your reviews would make me update faster.  
Just letting you all know that I am going to bring in the Order later on.**

**And on with the story (I love saying/writing that!)!**

After a lunch during which Harry avoided Madame Pomfrey, everyone sat down and was eagerly waiting for George to start reading.

**The Keeper of the Keys.**

**BOOM.**

"You don't have to yell that part out George!" Angelina exclaimed.

"Of course I do!" George said innocently. "It was in capital letters."

Angelina just rolled her eyes.

**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake.**

**"Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.**

"What's a cannon?" asked Ron.

"It's a sort of Muggle weapon," Hermione defined.

"Oh," Ron said.

**There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands - now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.**

George handed Fred a sickle.

"I thought it was a broomstick," George explained.

**"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you - I'm armed.**

"And I'm legged!" Fred yelled out, causing everyone to groan.

"Sorry Fred but that sound like one you made when you were 9," George said.

"OK, I'll admit, not my best joke."

**There was a pause. Then -**

**SMASH!**

"GEORGE STOP YELLING!" Angelina shouted.

"YOU'RE YELLING TOO!" Both Fred and George yelled.

**The door hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.**

**A giant of a man** **was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard,** **but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.**

**The giant**

"Half giant," Luna said dreamily.

**squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.**

**"Couldn't make us a cup 'o tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey. . . ."**

**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

**"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.**

"Nice nickname," said Cho.

**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother,**

"He fit?" said George.

**who was crouching, terrified behind Uncle Vernon.**

"That explains it," Fred said.

**"An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

**"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant.**

**"Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mum's eyes."**

"You've no idea how many times I've heard that," Harry said.

**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

**"I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said.**

"He said sir?" Ron said.

**"You are breaking and entering!"**

**"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune,"**

"Another insult!" Cho said. "You're on a roll Hagrid."

**said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent in into a knot as easily was if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.**

"Never knew he was so strong," said Ginny.

**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.**

**"Anyway - Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got sommat fer yeh here - I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right.**

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box.**

**Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with **_**Happy Birthday Harry**_** written on it in green icing.**

"That's really nice," Hermione said to a beaming Hagrid.

**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"**

"Harry, mind your manners."

"Hermione, you do realise that you're talking to a book, right?," Ron pointed out, earning a smack on the head.

**The giant chuckled.**

**"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."**

"GO HAGRID!" Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys cheered.

**He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.**

**"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger is yeh've got it, mind."**

"Hagrid!" McGonagall admonished. "You are not to get drunk while on duty!"

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there.**

"The half-blood isn't supposed to do magic," Umbridge sniffed.

**It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as if he'd sunk into a hot bath.**

**The giant sat back down on the sofa,**

"I wonder if he broke it?" Susan Bones wondered aloud.

**which sagged under his weight,** **and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig of before starting to make tea.**

"I think that probably was Firewhiskey," Ron whispered.

**Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but was he slid the first six, fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you Dudley."**

"He doesn't need any more food," said Ginny.

**The giant chuckled darkly.**

**"Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Durlsey, don' worry."**

**He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful,** **but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."**

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.**

**"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts - yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."**

"Like the Dursleys would tell him anything," a third year Ravenclaw said.

**"Er - no," said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked shocked.**

**"Sorry," Harry said quickly.**

"Why are you sorry?" Hermione asked.

"I'm just used to apologizing for everything," Harry replied.

_**"Sorry?"**_** barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letter but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh ever wonder where your parents learned it all?"**

**"All what?" asked Harry.**

**"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' a second!"**

**He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut.**

**The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.**

**"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy - this boy! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?"**

**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.**

"Somehow I don't think that's what he meant," Neville laughed.

**"I know **_**some**_** things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."**

Ron and Hermione laughed.

**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About **_**our**_** world, I mean. **_**Your**_** world. **_**My**_** world. **_**Yer parents' world.**_**"**

"How is he supposed to know that?" asked Seamus.

**"What world?"**

"Hagrid's gonna get angry," Ginny said.

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.**

**"DURSLEY!" he boomed.**

"George! Stop yelling! Do I have to spell it out for you?" Angelina yelled.

"OK, spell it out then," George dared her.

"S-T-O-P Y-E-L-I-N-G!"

"Merlin, can no one here spell?" Hermione joined in.

"Guys," Fred said, being the voice of reason for once. "McGonagall's glaring at you so sit down and shut up. I don't want you guys to break my detention record."

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.**

**"But yeh must know about yer mum and dad," he said. "I mean, they're **_**famous**_**. You're **_**famous**_**."**

**"What? My - mum and dad weren't famous, were they?"**

"Yes they are. One of the most famous couples in wizard history," said McGonagall.

**"Yeh don' know . . . yeh don' know . . ." Hagried ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.**

**"Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally.**

"You're a wizard Harry!" cried Fred and George.

"I know that now," Harry said.

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.**

"I wonder where it went," Fred joked.

"Maybe a hubblegorger took it," Luna said seriously.

**"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything."**

**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

"Wow, he sure is mad," Colin said.

**"You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was here! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"**

**"Kept **_**what**_** from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

**"STOP! I FORBID YOU YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in a panic.**

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.**

**"Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh,"**

"And that's a typical Hagrid," said Ron.

**said Hagrid. "Harry - yer a wizard"**

"Couldn't be any more blunt, could you Hagrid?" Michael Corner said.

**There was silence in the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.**

**"I'm a **_**what**_**?" gasped Harry.**

Everyone started laughing.

"That's your reaction?" Ron laughed.

Harry did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out.

**"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."**

"Yes! He's finally getting it," cried Ron.

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea.**

"Those letters are very specific," Hannah Abbot said.

**He pulled out the letter and read:**

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL **_**of**_** WITCHCRAFT **_**and**_** WIZARDRY.**

**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**

**(**_**Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards**_**)**

**Dear Mr. Potter,**

**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed list of all necessary books and equipment.**

**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31.**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Minerva McGonagall**

_**Deputy Headmistress**_

"That's that same day!" Ron noticed.

"You're right. At least it was really early in the morning," Hermione said.

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"**

"It's simple. They want you to send your answer via owl."

"Ron, for you it's simple since you've been doing it your whole lives, but Harry didn't even know he was a wizard until a few minutes previously," said Hermione.

**"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand on his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl -**

"Poor owl," Lavender cooed.

**a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:**

"You can read Hagrid's writing upside down?" Ron whispered. "I have enough trouble reading it right-side up."

**Dear Professor Dumbledore,**

**Given Harry his letter. Taking him to buy his things tomorrow Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.**

**Hagrid.**

"Typical Hagrid."

**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was a normal as talking on the telephone.**

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.**

**"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

**"He's not going," he said.**

"You can't stop Harry Potter from going to Hogwarts!" a first year Gryffindor said.

**Hagrid grunted.**

**"I'd like to see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

**"A what?" said Harry, interested.**

**"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck that you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles that I ever laid eyes on."**

"True that," Seamus said.

**"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"**

**"You **_**knew**_**?" said Harry. "You **_**knew**_** I'm a - wizard?"**

"The letter said so," stated Dumbledore.

**"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "**_**Knew!**_** Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that - that **_**school**_** - and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats.**

"I think she's confusing Lily with James," McGonagall said.

**I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak!**

Everyone glared at the book.

**But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"**

"Why wouldn't they be," Draco said. "It's better than Muggles like yourselves."

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed as if she had been wanting to say all this for years.**

**"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew that you'd be just the same, just the same, just as strange, just as - as - **_**abnormal**_** - and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"**

**Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"**

**"A CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid,**

"Uh oh, Hagrid's really angry now," said Ron.

"And George yelled again," Angelina complained.

"Maybe you shouldn't sit right next to him then," Harry suggested. Angelina took his advice and went to sit next to Katie.

**jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his story when every kid in our world knows his name."**

"That's pretty ridiculous," said Ginny.

"**But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.**

**"I never expected this," he said, in a low worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh - but someones gotta - yeh can't go off to Hogwarts no knowin'"**

"That's very true," said Flitwick.

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.**

**"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it. . . ."**

"I don't know if the whole story ever will be figured out," said Theodore Nott.

**He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called - but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows -"**

**"Who?"**

**"Well - I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."**

**"Why not?"**

**"Gulping' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went . . .bad.**

"Understatement of the year," said Fred.

**As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was . . ."**

"Please don't say it," begged Ron.

**Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

**"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.**

**"Nah - can't spell it.**

"Good old Hagrid," Dean laughed.

**All right - **_**Voldemort**_**."**

Everyone in the Great Hall excluding Harry and Dumbledore flinched.

**Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyways, this - this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' for followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches . . . terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed 'em.**

**Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not just then, anyway.**

**"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!**

"Pfft," said Fred.

**Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before . . . probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' to do with the Dark Side.**

**"Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em . . . maybe he just wanted 'em out outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' - an' -"**

**Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.**

"That must've been loud," said Ron.

**"Sorry," he said.** **"But it's that sad - knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people you couldn't find - anyway . . .**

**"You-Know-Who killed'em. An' then - an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing - he tried to kill you, too. Wanted to make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh - took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even - but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age - the McKinnons, the Bones, The Prewetts -**

Everyone had somber expressions. Most purebloods and half-bloods had lost friends and family.

**an' you was only a baby, an' you lived.**

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly then he had ever remembered it before - and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.**

"He can remember that?"Several people muttered.

**Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

**"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot . . ."**

**"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon.**

"I knew he was going to speak soon," said George

"Yeah, he'd been quiet for too long," agreed Fred.

**Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage.**

"What little he had of it anyways," said Neville.

**He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.**

**"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled. "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured - and as for all this about your parent's, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion - asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types - just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"**

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and few a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat.**

**Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley - I'm warning you - one more word . . ."**

**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again;** **he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

**"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.**

"He's breaking it by degrees," said Fred.

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.**

**"But what happened to Vol-,**

"Don't say it," said Ron.

**sorry - I mean, You-Know-Who?"**

"You said You-Know-Who," Ron said.

"Yeah. Just the once."

**"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see . . . he was gettin' more an' more powerful - why'd he go?**

**"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if was coming' back.**

**"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on - **_**I**_** dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."**

"I do wonder what it was," said Cho.

**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling please and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him?**

**How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard.**

"I'm afraid accidental magic doesn't work like that," Dumbledore said.

**If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?**

**"Hagrid," he said quietly. "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."**

"That's what all the Muggle-born, or in this case Muggle-raised, wizards are like. They are raised to not believe in magic and suddenly find out that they are magic," said McGonagall.

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.**

**"Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"**

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it . . . every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry . . . chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach . . .**

"Apparation!" cried Fred.

"We know," everyone else said.

**dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back . . . and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it. Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?**

"That was the best one," said George, a big smile crossing his face.

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him."**

**"See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard - you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."**

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

"Oh joy," groaned Dennis Creevey.

**"Haven't i told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands - and -"**

"THAT STUFF IS NOT RUBBISH!" cried Fred.

"It's necessary," said George.

**"If he want ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' to Hogwarts! Yer mad. His names been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself.**

"He still needs to know his name, otherwise there's a bit of a problem," said Fred.

**He'll be with youngster of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts every had, Albus Dumbled -"**

**"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.**

**But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER-" he thundered, "-INSULT-ALBUS-DUMBLEDORE-IN-FRONT-OF-ME!"**

"Dursley's doomed," a Slytherin said.

**He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley - there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.**

Nearly everyone burst into laughter. The twins were laughing so hard that they fell off of their seats.

"That's great," gasped Ron.

"But Hagrid's not supposed to do magic!" cried an astonished Umbridge.

"Hagrid, though I am touched by your loyalty, perhaps it would be a good idea to refrain from transfiguring Muggles," said Dumbledore.

**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.**

**"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."**

"That's bloody brilliant!" Ron laughed.

**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.**

**"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'.**

"Why is he doing it then?" asked McGonagall.

**I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get your letter to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job -"**

**"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.**

**"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third yer. They snapped my wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."**

**"Why were you expelled?"**

"Now that is question everyone wants to know," Ernie Macmillan said.

**"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly.**

"So he doesn't find out either," said a disappointed Fred.

**"Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."**

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.**

**"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."**

"Eww!" Most of the girls exclaimed.

"That's it!" George said.

"I'll read next," Draco volunteered. George reluctantly handed the Slytherin the book.

**A/N: 2 chapters in 2 days! Once again please review.**

**Also, go check out No.1HPfanLuvsHP's story Harry Potter: Voldemort's POV and take a few seconds to review it.**


End file.
